Life & Love -- Alot to Learn from!!

Did it actually sound something like 50 Shades of Grey ... Ha Ha

I laugh to myself and say .. It actually did.. So what is it something about 30's ? Hmm let me think

Is it the number or the state where you're just stepping into your adulthood.. Being independent, fearless and finding yourself suddenly grown-up. All of a sudden things change, feelings are replaced and sometimes LOST.

For me, I am the girl oops should I say Woman who is independent, loves life, adventures, lives the moment. What can probably hit me in my thirties? Surprisingly I have no answer to that.  But something did and it was so fast that it almost left me with too many questions running in my mind. Have I lived the way I always wanted? Is the love I get is enough and so on..

Every woman goes thru this phase and why only woman I am sure men also do. Its just not the number but its also the added responsibility that comes along with it. Every little thing that you do is being watched and also scrutinized. For e.g If I come home late the first thing I get to hear is ..What is the time? is this the time to come home? You're not in Ur teens to behave like this..blah blah !! Yeah you got me there .. these words are usually blah blah for me.

Yes I am in my thirties but does that stop me from living or being what I am? Its not about adulthood its about life, we all live once then why do we intact ourself with all these rules and terms & conditions. I fail to understand that and I guess I am happy to fail to do so. I am also guessing that by now you think I am a person who is never satisfied with what I have then you're BANG ON ! Yes I am not, I need so much more and in every way.

Do you feel the same? Is there is end to what you like and love ?
Share me your thoughts

Love,
Nitz

Love.. Why so complicated are you?
So many questions and no answers yet..

Feeling's.. Why so jumbled are you?
Bag full of mixed emotions and none to feel yet ..

Loneliness.. Why so heartbreaking are you?
Between the crowd and left out yet..

Often we ask our self - " Was that meant to happen?  or Was it meant to be ? "

Not lying to myself .. how many of us say that to ourself everyday? I am sure we all do coz somewhere i do it ..

Just a question.. Do you cry alone?

In a corner of your house, in your car while driving, sitting on the stairs, during the dark nights.. Do you cry ?

Why is that we humans feel so many emotions that we can't handle?  Mix everything like a khichidi and then think over it.. Was it necessary?

I feel you..


Feel you so close like a breeze
Knowing it will pass away
and i will remain here standing freezed
still feel you so close like a breeze

What is that we have between us?
Love that was meant to be
or is it just a random phase

You hold me in you so tight
I struggle to get away
I struggle to breathe
And then i think why you holding me anyway

Did you mean everything you said ?
Is what runs in mind while you talk
As I Feel you so close like a breeze
Knowing it will pass away
and i will remain here standing freezed
still feel you so close like a breeze...

So I let myself loose in you
Move like a breeze with you
As that is what is meant to be
Not thinking if it was how it had to be

Feel me like a breeze
And we would move away together..

Love,
Nitz

And so moments brings me back to where i belong !

Strange, Life isn't the same any more for me but a part of me is always stuck to this, once in a while asking me to get up and go head and write to you. Did I miss you guys ? the answer is YES not out of compulsion but out of a feeling that there are people who would love to read and also tell me things of what they feel.

Finally Am I here before the year ends.. I know haven't been around for a while. Yeah Yeah I know my fault and can give no reasons for that .

Life has changed but it didnt take a effort to change me. For sometimes i still walk down the same lane thinking if we could meet accidentally some point, some where in that corner of life. And my heart pops up with a thought -" Do you ever wish the same ? " The answer is not unknown to me but still i am standing here gazing at the stars n hoping you would say YES .

We expect so much and it never ends. I tell myself more than a thousand times that- " I am and should be Happy " I have a beautiful life but some were i cant lie to myself that there is an emptiness inside me. This Emptiness kills me every moment i think of you walking away from me. I cant question you WHY and cant be without asking as well.

You were a friends to me.. Someone who knew everything about me, I am more heart broken when i think even knowing me you would still decide to walk away.

The only thing changed in me in all these years is that even knowing the truth my heartbeat skips a skip when i hear you name and dont let anyone know. Not sure if there would be a day when you will realize the pain i am going thru inside. The waves of emotions that takes place within my heart breaking me down into pieces every time.

Will you ?